PRE-XMAS WARNING

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DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU

You'll be sorry in the morning when your head is thick and buzzing

You'll wish you'd never touched a drop of booze.

You'll remember not one thing. Did you stagger? Did you sing?

Or did you run around the garden with no shoes?

You'll shut your eyes and groan: Am I alive? Am I at home?

Or am I dying in some darkened alleyway?

You'll hold your head and wonder. Did I make an awful blunder?

Did I shout 'fuck off'' to someone yesterday.

You're eyes will grow wider. You'll remember that large cider.

What happened next was well beyond the pale.

You snogged auntie Mabel, danced naked on the table

Then downed a few more pints of strong brown ale.

You filled your lungs with gusto, yodelled loud and hey presto,

The roof it shook, and all you heard were cheers.

You pinched young Susie's bum, and then went on the run

Before her husband clipped you round the ears.

Oh how you 'll wish, you'd sat and watched the telly.

Oh how you 'll wish you'd stayed inside..

But with a throbbing so severe, you'll have another beer.

You'll lie there, off yer head and bleary-eyed.